Université de Magique
Whines & complaints
L’Université de Magique
L’Université de Magique is a leading school committed to providing students with rigorous undergraduate and graduate education in Magie. Through an emphasis of teaching, research, and repetitive muscle memory activities along with baton-wielding faculty members, Magie U prepares its graduates for professional careers in our post-medieval society.
For those who wish to study for advanced degrees in Magie, Magie U has Licentiate, Magister, & Licentia Docendi programs.
Université de Magique is proud to demonstrate that it has:
- Facilities Available for Degree Programs.
- We call this a campus.
- Faculty Personnel.
- We call them Professors.
- Study Abroad Programs.
- We call this the Journeyman program.
- Academic Policies and Principles of Conduct.
- We want all the students to play nice.
- When they don't, out comes the discipline. [See below.]
- Student Body Diversity.
- Almost no one’s body is the same as anyone else’s, unless the Flesh Magie department is into cellular duplication again.
- Athletics Programs. Student Athletics include:
- Team-based dragon chasing
- Intramural wizard duels
- Intermodal water/fire/air bombing
- Interspecies panty raids.
- Disability Services.
- Special services are available when needed for those disabled in wizard duels and military conflicts.
- Magie U is proud that it treats its students with all the dignity and respect that they deserve, which means plenty of discipline.
- Apprentices are beaten with wet noodles when they do not use proper respect for their elders and betters.
- Emergency Response and Evacuation Procedures
- In case a spell goes wild Magie U has a complete set of emergency response and evacuation procedures.
- In fact we tend to test them often.
- Sometimes in the middle of the night.
- Or during classes.
- Also, the Discipline noodles get bigger and harder when Apprentices mess up spells and blow up laboratories, fellow students, or Professors.
Textbooks For Summer Studies
New students are encouraged to read the following textbooks prior to starting school:
- How to read and write.
- Loric’s Lugubrious Legends.
- A Tale of One City: Knothaven.
- Magie for Rum-Dums.
Magie U believes its responsibilities to students include more than theoretical academic training in the
classroom and the practice field.
Magie U has a wholistic approach to students -- we believe that students are wholly responsible for their intellectual growth, civic responsibility, and social engagement. We believe that they need no assistance other than time left alone to develop a full and satisfying life.
Magie U provides 10 hours per day of alone time, in which students can eat, sleep, and do whatever else occurs to their tiny minds in this nurturing environment.
Given the fact that the average student is a young adult with a bubbling cauldron of hormones just popping and fizzing, it is not inconceivable that students in a co-educational institution with time on their hands will have affairs.
Magie U expects students to broaden their world outlooks by interacting with students of other cultures, nations, and natures. However, incoming students are warned that interspecies affairs may have unexpected results and should contact their House Mothers in that event.
Theatre Production Earns National Recognition
The original production of "Dancers in the Rain" by the House O’Leau gained “Distinguished Production of a New Work” award from the Elfin Center for the Magical Arts.
BEATing is an adventure for Magie Ustudents
The Boosting Energy and Action Training (BEAT) was not only a priceless experience for the students, but also for the professors who got a chance to beat on theMagie U students to make them practice magie under extreme circumstances.
School of Combat Arts Receives LAMED Accreditation
The House O d’Escrime School of Combat Arts has received accreditation from the Leeland Association of Magical Education and Defense, the defining body for magical arts education. Magie U is the only one of Leeland institutions to achieve the honor.
Snapdoodle Named Provost and VP of Academic Affairs
Magie U is pleased to announce the appointment of Dr. Oldious Snapdoodle as the Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs effective sometime this year, when he gets cured of the burns he sustained when a mega-fireball spell went wild during class late last semester. Fire spells will now be taught by Prof. Madeline Merrygaggle.
UM named cheap Uni
Magie U was named one of the least expensive Magie Universités for Elfes, Humans, and Others. Of course it is the ONLY Uni in Leeland, but as far as we’re concerned, that just makes it better.
UM Professors publish treatise on Non-existent spells
Magie U Publishing House announces the arrival of a case of books for sale. Professors Minoverre and Gladié have made a detailed 20 year investigation into the theories of non-existent spells, a subset of the Non-Existent Arts and they’d like to make some money out of their research. So run over to theMagie U campus bookstore and buy a copy.